He turned his head from where he'd been staring at the ceiling, berating himself for having done what he'd just done. She looked confused. "I don't want to do this to you and I don't know how to be anymore than what I am." He wasn't making sense. He never could make his mouth and brain work together or form sentences that actually sounded like he wanted them to. "I can't do this to you."

The room was silent.

"What are you talking about?" She had an idea, but that couldn't be what he meant. He couldn't mean that, not after what they just did. Calm yourself, S.

"I'm not sure if we should continue seeing each other." He held his breath. Waiting. He expected to be yelled at. He deserved to be yelled at.

Simone licked her lips and stared at the wall above him, trying to comprehend what he was saying. "I-" She shook her head and shoved herself up off his chest. She stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

Harry remained silent.

Simone turned her gaze from him to the floor, taking the sheet with her as she got off the bed. She walked to the wardrobe and put on her robe, feeling much better to be clothed.

"Is this some kind of joke? Is this funny to you?"

"I'm not laughing, Simone." Harry threw his legs over the side of the bed, grabbing his pants and pulling them on before he stood in front of her. "I'm being very serious right now. I wouldn't joke about something like this." He bent down, picking his shirt off the ground and pulling it over his head.

"What is it then? Is it-" she swallowed, "is it someone else?" She looked at him with her arms folded across her chest.

"This has nothing to do with anyone but the people in this room." For once, he was glad it was true. He wasn't thinking about Luna right now. He was thinking about the enormous guilt he felt, about the way he'd been using her for far too long. The way they didn't talk. The awkwardness when they were together and clothed. He didn't want a relationship like that. Work was his significant other. Anyone else could only be his mistress. "I can't be with anyone right now. I just made Auror, I'm busy, and I can't do that to someone."

"But-" She shut her eyes to him. We said in the beginning that we were both busy. We were both... What changed? She thought about the time they had spent together lately, all the times she had tried talking to him. Merlin. "How long have you felt this way?"

"A while." He saw her flinch. "That's why I'm telling you now. It doesn't make it better. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I understand it if you hate me, but believe it or not, I respect you too much to put you in that position."

A while. He had been with her how many times and he didn't want her. She swallowed, blinking back the tears that stung her eyes. Was she that awful? She looked at Harry and willed herself not to cry in front of him.

"You should have told me sooner, instead of wasting both our time," Simone said with a bit of a bite to her tone.

"I know." He grabbed his trousers, pulling them on. "I should have done a lot of things differently, and I'm sorry, but I'm trying to make things right." He hated crying women, yes. This fact was well known, but women crying because of him? The worst feeling possible. "It doesn't make anything better, but I didn't end this sooner because I really like you. I'm just not ready for anything right now, and that's not fair to you."

"Yeah, well, making things right would have been a damned great idea an hour ago," she shouted at him. How dare he? How dare he give her the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. She should have known. I should have known. What had he said to her that first night? 'Come here often?' If that wasn't a huge warning sign, she didn't know what was.

"Wow. That's really great. It's not me, it's you. Are you going to follow that gem of a line with 'I never meant to hurt you'? How about 'let's stay friends', huh? I would love it if you said that to me. It would be absolutely fantastic." She grabbed his tie from the floor and threw it at him.

Harry cut himself off when he realized that's exactly what he'd wanted to say. Perhaps not the staying friends part. He knew that would never happen, not now. "You have every right to be mad at me." He grabbed his shoes from the floor, stuffing his socks and tie into one of them as he grabbed his wand off the night stand. "I don't expect anything from you."

Simone smiled at herself in anger, her cheeks flushed. "You don't expect anything from me? What does that even mean? What would you have expected anyway? For me to say, 'Oh, it's alright Harry. We had some fun, didn't we' while we hug?" She shook her head. "Of course you don't expect anything, you've handled this so perfectly," she said sarcastically. 

Simone walked to the door and held it open for him, "I really don't think I can talk about this any longer. Please leave."

He nodded, walking past the bed and towards the door. He hesitated, wanted to say something, but knew nothing he could say would matter. He'd bollocks this whole thing up and he had no one to blame but himself. His inability to do the right thing until the last possible moment. He left, shaking his head in self-loathing.

Simone stood at the door staring at the bed for Merlin knows how long. She bit her lip and shook her head feeling disgusted with herself for making excuses for him this whole time. She looked down at her robe and decided to take a shower. She needed to wash him off.

 

Summary: Harry breaks up with Simone with, quite possibly, the worst timing ever.