Getting down the path to Snape's apothecary was becoming a very troublesome thing, River decided, stumbling for the third time along they way. It didn't help that she was completely sloshed or that whenever she got a hold of herself the post-hexing version of Mr. Addams popped into her head, sending her into fits of giggles that caused her to wobble. Her only consolation was that Greg was having trouble as well, stumbling alongside her.

The sobering potions were just at the end of the path, though, so they had to keep going, no matter how hard it was.


Greg narrowed his eyes in an attempt to figure out which path he was supposed to concentrate on. He reached out blindly, hoping not to grope River and instead help her. He managed to get a hold on her arm just as Hyacinth Elixirs came into view...at least he hoped that was what he was seeing. "River, that it?" he muttered.



"I think...maybe?" River looked up from the path and tried to focus on the building ahead of them, failing miserably. "Let's find out..." The witch took a bigger step forward than usual, wanting to get there faster to find out, and nearly fell over onto the ground because of it, Greg's hold on her arm the only thing keeping her even somewhat upright. "Eeps!"


Greg laughed aloud. "You're lucky I didn't sit on you." He reached down to help her up, overcompensated, and landed in a heap next to River. They sat there in stunned silence for a moment before both started laughing uproariously.

Severus Snape was in a foul mood, as his Slytherin employee had called in sick for the day, and Angelina had owled to say she'd be late. He was considering closing the shop for the day, when he heard a thump outside and the raucous laughter that quickly followed it. Bloody drunks coming for Hang-Over Potion, he snarled mentally, and strode to give the impending customers his best glowering face. It was barely afternoon, for Merlin's sake. He strode to the door and flung it open, only to see two former students sitting in front of his shop, looking like fools.


Sighing, he used his thumb and forefinger to massage the bridge of his nose. "I should have guessed that it would be two of our more illustrious citizens flopping around, drunk, in the middle of the day, on a Tuesday. Get in here before someone sees you, you wazzocks."



Greg sat up and threw his shoulders back, thankful he didn't fall on his face. He snickered when he remembered the title of a cd of Raven's by Slash's Snakepit, and quipped, "It's five o'clock somewhere, Snape. Wazzocks? Have you been sniffing illicit potions again?"

"Again, Mr. Goyle?" Snape shook his head, and, using his wand, levitated the two into his shop. "I seem to recall having found said types of potions in your rooms on more than one occasion. Now," he thrust a Sober Up Potion into each of their hands, "drink up and then tell me why on earth you are bladdered and on my doorstep in the middle of a Tuesday. And I will have no patience for made-up, nonsensical tales." He glowered at his two former students.

River merely starting giggling at his words, making no move to drink the potion that was in her hands. "Oh, Severus, I knew you cared!" she said in midst of the giggles, taking an unsteady pounce at him and wrapping her arms around his chest, snuggling closer to him. "Were you worried about us hurting ourselves? We're 'sponsible...we can handle our alcohol."



Greg's legs gave out and he gripped the edge of the nearest shelf for support. He was laughing too hard to stay upright on his own. It was just that the sight of River hanging all over Snape...well fuck...it was Snape! He lost his grip and slid to the floor, laughing so hard his sides ached. Taunting Snape is too fun. With that in mind, Greg cleared his throat. "Why, sir, I never knew you were such a touchy feely bloke. To think, all those first years could have come for Snape cuddles when feeling homesick."

"Mr. Goyle. Watch what you say or you shall be next." Snape spoke quietly, while prying the girl's arms off of him. This is much too close to that Hug Snape Campaign nightmare. He scowled and uncorked the vial he'd retrieved from River and tilted it into her open mouth. "Responsible, hmm?" He stopped feeding her the potion when there was just enough gone to sober her up but leave a pounding headache. "That's all for now, River. I have little patience for people taunting me. How do you feel?" He corked the potion and deftly nicked the one from Greg, quirking an eyebrow to see how the lad would react when his friend complained of her head hurting so badly she was like to die.

"Like my head is going to explode," she murmured, both hands cradling her head as she tried to get the intense pounding to stop. As long as she remembered, there was no way she would be drinking that much again. At least, not without a potion within easy reach.

"Indeed," Snape glared at the younger man who'd allowed her to get to that state in the first place. "Here, River, drink the rest of this." He thrust the vial back into her hands, unable to leave the girl in such pain for long. "Mr Goyle. I am rather disappointed in you. Drink this." A look of disdain crossed his features as he returned the other vial to Greg. "And then, we are going to have a discussion." He could not recall feeling so disappointed by a student in a long while. "Even Neville Longbottom at least lived up to the expectations I had for him, Mr. Goyle," he hissed, having already had a bad day, and not taking very well to people taunting him.



Greg accepted the vial and downed the potion before ducking his head. He knew they should have stopped drinking, but old habits died hard. He remembered the events of the past weekend with a wince. "I do apologize, sir, and will be watching my alcohol intake from now on."

"Mr. Goyle, you can do whatever you like to yourself; give yourself liver damage and kidney damage for all I care, but when you start bringing promising young women down with you, I feel I have to step in. I always thought that there was more to you than what you showed the world. I always defended your intentions against other professors. And you have shown that perhaps my judgment was wrong. I always thought that you were a strong, intelligent person who would show that to the world when you were ready. Instead I find that you have fallen onto a path that is the complete opposite. I was supposing that your absence from Britain was due to your desire for growth. But you were running. And now you're home, and you're still running, only it's through a bottle. What will you do if you've run to the end and are all alone...?" Severus finished his rant, shocked at how much of his concern had shown in his speech. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to return to a calm demeanor. "I merely thought better of you. But that's of small consequence. I would know why the two of you got bladdered today. Come and I'll make tea." He swept to the back of his shop, robes flowing. "That was not a suggestion, you two," he called back, as he set about preparing the tea.

The last part of Severus's speech brought River out of her stupor, though she still felt the shock inside. She didn't expect a rant like that, wouldn't have ever expected it from Severus, and judging from Greg's open mouthed stare, he hadn't either. Testing Severus wasn't on her list of things to do at the moment, though, so she moved over to Greg and took his hand to tug him to his feet. "I think it would be best if we did as he said, Greg..." she said softly. "Let's go."


Greg got to his feet, squeezing River's hand in thanks before releasing it. He knew that whatever Snape had to say, or any excuses given for showing up plastered, would result in a very long day. Maybe, just maybe not drinking so much was a good idea all around.

Severus plunked three teacups on the table and slammed the sugar and milk down as well. Pouring his own, he added milk and stirred, Anti-clockwise, anti-clockwise, anti-clockwise, clockwise, clockwise, in the manner of the Sober Up Potion. He took a sip and glowered at his two former students. "Alright. One of you. Speak."



Greg sighed. "My financial advisor was a sodding wanker. He hired River as my personal assistant before resigning without warning." He glanced over at River for the go ahead. When she nodded reluctantly, he continued on. "River and I went to his office and she hexed him. It was hilarious, sir." At Snape's scowl, Greg amended himself quickly, "Severus. We...had a few celebratory drinks at The Leaky."

"So," Severus dragged the word out, "You went to a man's place of work, and hexed him, because he no longer wished to work for you?" He quirked an eyebrow at the two who were squirming in front of him. "That was rather... Slytherin of you. What hex?"


River smiled sheepishly. "Hexes, actually. Petrificus Totalus on Mr. Addams himself, Oppugno on his papers, and as we left, we made the room Imperturbable before throwing in a Caterwauling Charm and an Anti-Disappartion Jinx...and then we locked the door with a Permanent Sticking Charm. Did I miss anything, Greg?"



Greg snickered. "No, you got it all. It was a beautiful sight, truly it was. It also taught me a very good lesson...never brass River off."


"Indeed," Severus found himself smirking at the girl, "Well River, I must say I am proud of your... inventiveness. And what did Mr. Goyle do, besides drag you off to get bladdered when it was all over?" He couldn't bring himself to forgive the boy quite yet for his severe lack of judgment, despite the fact that he was greatly amused by the circumstances leading up to it.



Greg scowled. "Wait a minute, it was a joint decision! River, tell him it wasn't all me."



She nodded quickly, glowing inwardly at the praise from her former Head of House. "It really wasn't. I could have stopped the drinking at any time, but I let it continue as well. It's as much my fault as it is Greg's."

Severus nodded at the girl, "I don't doubt that you would think as much, River, but you are also not known for running. I find myself both proud and disappointed. However, those hexes do make a formidable combination. Is there anything I can help the both of you with besides Sober-Up potions?"



Greg shook his head. He wanted away from Snape as soon as possible- before the man could start in with another speech. "No, thank you, sir...Severus."

"We're sorry we bothered you so early in the day," River added.

"Don't be. I should not have lost my temper. Mr. Goyle, mind your drinking from now on, that's all I ask. I would hate to see you kill yourself from it. I must return to my potions, now, if you'll excuse me." With that, he stood and walked over to a cauldron, tossing ingredients in with practiced ease.


Greg and River rushed out together, not willing to have Snape focused on them again.

{Summary: A meeting with two former students gets Severus'... *ahem* knickers in a twist.}